The Colorado Counselor Blog

Becoming Unstuck - By: Sarah James LCSW, CAC II

Published By: www.selfgrowth.com July 2010

Many people find themselves in a place in life where they feel completely stuck. They recognize their discomfort in the situation and wonder how they got there. The discomfort increases when the individual realizes they do not know how to transcend the situation and find relief.

There are several steps to consider as we work to become unstuck:

Step 1: We need to look into our inner blueprint to gain an understanding of our history that led us to this situation. Our blueprint displays the inner workings of our history and can provide information as to how we landed in the situation we currently reside. We find comfort and a decrease in confusion and anxiety by becoming intimate with our inner workings. Being unconscious of our blueprint often times leads us to reenact our past in our future. An example would be if a woman consistently dated men who were untrustworthy, distant, and moody. She may wonder how she always ends up with these types of individuals. An alcoholic father who indeed was untrustworthy, distant, and moody may have raised this particular woman. She is dating what is familiar to her, but not necessarily what she wants, thus leaving her with feelings of being stuck in finding a strong connection with a mate.

Step 2: Become aware of what is familiar to you, but begin to create your own personal manual that is going to create the life you are seeking. This manual needs to include your likes and dislikes, your needs and wants. Then use this manual to place yourself in environments and relationships that will link you closer to your end goals. This manual may also include certain thoughts, emotions, and even body sensations you would like to experience in your life, therefore not accepting relationships and environments that detract from this goal.

Step 3: Create action with your blueprint and personal manual. Just notice how your blueprint affects your life and know that you are more than your blueprint. You have the present and future to create the life you are seeking. Hold your personal manual close when taking action to become unstuck. This will help you enter into unchartered territory that may be a little scary.

Step 4: Be aware of what comes up for you when you have entered into new experiences and relationships. Notice that being aware is different from becoming attached to any fear, anxiety, and awkwardness you may have felt in this new territory. Reward yourself for creating meaningful action in your life. Navigating unfamiliar territory takes energy and motivation. Allow yourself to recharge afterwards if you feel it is necessary.

Seeking support from an experienced psychotherapist can facilitate in navigating these steps. Remember that becoming unstuck takes trying new things that are consistent with your needs and wants. Learn how and take action.