The Colorado Counselor Blog

Published by www.selfgrowth.com on August 19, 2010

Too often we find ourselves anxious and disappointed when an opportunity dissolves or when things do not turn out the way we had hoped.  In such a crisis lies opportunity.  We have a choice, either we can dissolve with the failed opportunity or we can create other options.  Many people feel they do not have the ability to create new options, but that is simply not the case.  Such people are most likely speaking from a place of emotion and defeat, rather than from an eye-opening and confident standpoint.  How do we become individuals who make lemonade when life gives us lemons?  The answer is to learn the skills to remain active in order to create opportunities so we do not feel closed off.  There are several steps to take when one door closes so that another door will open.

Step 1:  Create calmness around the situation.  Creating calmness is still remaining active in this problem solving exercise.  Do not react, but simply experience whatever it is that comes up for you at the time.  We can handle more negative emotions and let down than we think.

Step 2:  When the emotion of the initial disappointment subsides (I recommend sleeping on it), begin researching options.  Create choices out of a situation that once felt like you had no choices.

Step 3:  Once you begin feeling the empowerment of learning of other options, your confidence will grow.  Your ability to simply take a different path will strengthen.

Step 4: Now that you have established self- empowerment in the situation, your ability to make a sound decision out of the options you created will increase.  Again, handle the decision making process with the same care you spent creating the opportunity for your self.

Once you have successfully completed this cycle of creating opportunity for yourself, you will handle your next bout of disappointment with greater ease.